Dating for Dads

Dear Mr. Dad: I’ve been divorced for almost a year and I’m just getting to the point where I’m thinking about dating again. My kids (8 and 10) and I have a very close relationship and we talk about everything. But when I mentioned dating to them, instead of being happy for me, they were angry. Is there anything I can do to get them to be a little more supportive?

A: Close relationships between parents and their young children are wonderful for everyone. But occasionally lines can get blurred, which is exactly what happened with you. Your social life will undoubtedly affect your children—especially if you get into a serious relationship. But it sounds like you’ve given them the impression that their close relationship with you entitles them to an actual vote in the matter. It’s really none of their business. You’re their parent, not their friend, end of discussion.

Aside from the boundary issue, your children may simply not want to share you with anyone. It’s been just the three of you for a long time, and they enjoy having you all to themselves. Any time you spend with other people—whether it’s going out for a beer with a buddy or dating a woman who’s not their mother—is time you won’t be spending with them. You’re in a delicate spot here, but here are few steps you can take to get your kids on board (or at least to reduce their hostility).
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Overcoming Ignoring + Stop Saying “Yes” for the Wrong Reasons + Negotiation Generation

Guest: Amy McCready, author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…
Topic:
The revolutionary program that gets your kids to listen without nagging, reminding, or yelling.
Issues: Why it’s so difficult to get kids to listen; how giving your child more power, not less can end power struggles; effective ways to correct misbehavior and bring out the best in your children.


Adrianne Ahern, author of Snap out of It Now!
Topic: Four steps to inner joy.
Issues: Learning to understand—and overcome–the reasons people say yes to the wrong relationships, let anger lead them down the wrong path, fail at diets, and believe they aren’t good enough; making a quantum leap to a life of purpose, joy, and excellence.


Lynn Reeves Griffin, author of Negotiation Generation.
Topic: Taking back your parental authority without punishment.
Issues: How to influence your child’s behavior—without controlling it; predicting and preventing challenging behavior; letting go of time outs, grounding, spankings, and other punishments; teaching by example.

All Joy and No Fun: How Children Affect Their Parents

Jennifer Senior, author of All Joy and No Fun.
Topic:
The paradox of modern parenthood.
Issues: How children compromise the autonomy parents have grown accustomed to; how children affect parental decision making, division of labor, and can strain a marriage; the true fun in having children is just sitting back, being passive, and enjoying kids being themselves; much more.

Supercommuters + An Extraordinary Story of Surrogacy


Megan Bearce, author of Super Commuter Couples.
Topic:
Staying together when a job keeps you apart.
Issues: The super commuting phenomenon; who are supper commuters? coping with suspicions of infidelity; six steps to make super commuting work; three characteristics of a successful super commuting relationship.


Sara Connell, author of Bringing in Finn.
Topic:
An extraordinary surrogacy story.
Issues: One woman’s story of the tragedy and heartbreak of infertility and losing pregnancies, and the process of opening her heart and mind to the idea of her 60-year old mother carrying her child for her.

Dinner with Heroes

www.amazon.co.ukSarah Smiley, author of Dinner with the Smileys.
Topic:
One military family, one year of heroes, and lessons for a lifetime
Issues: The heartwarming story of a family’s commitment to fill a deployed servicemember’s place at the family dinner table with interesting people–teachers, Olympians, politicians, athletes, authors, comedians, and more.

Planning for Uncomfortable-but-Important Conversations

www.amazon.co.ukSue Sanders, author of Mom, I’m Not a Kid Anymore.
Topic:
Navigating 25 inevitable conversations that arrive before you know it.
Issues: How not to be blindsided by your child’s pre-teen years; tough conversations like, “You and Dad do that?” “Did you ever smoke marijuana?” “Can I get American Eagle jeans?” and “Do these shorts make my butt look big?”