Breakthrough Solutions to Potty Problems + What Men Think About Marriage + Secrets of Happily Married Men

[amazon asin=076277360X&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 1: Steve Hodges, coauthor of It’s No Accident.
Topic: Breakthrough solutions to your child’s wetting, constipation, urinary tract infections, and other potty problems.
Issues: 30 percent of kids 2-10 are chronically constipated and 25 percent of 5-year olds have problems with accidents and bedwetting; how it is that most bed-wetting problems are actually the result of constipation; why toilet training kids too so can lead to wetting problems later; the dangers of holding it in.


[amazon asin=0743258738&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 2: Neil Chethik, author of Voicemale.
Topic: What husbands really think about their marriages, their wives, sex, housework, and commitment.
Issues: A unique look at men’s complex inner lives; men’s unique, masculine style of loving; what men are really looking for in the women they love.


[amazon asin=0787994146&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 3: Scott Haltzman, author of The Secrets Of Happily Married Men.
Topic: Eight ways men can win their wives hearts forever.
Issues: Eight ways men can win their wives hearts forever.
Issues: Identifying relationship challenges; how men can use their special strengths to improve relationships; overcoming gender stereotypes in marriage.

Eight Things Women Can Do to Get Fathers More Involved

Even though I’m married, I sometimes feel like a single mom. How can I get my husband to do more around the house and with our child?

About 90 percent of couples experience an increase in stress after their children are born. And the number one stressor, by far, is the division of labor in the home. Unfortunately, even the most egalitarian couples tend to slip into traditional roles, which means that you’ll probably end up doing more of the housework and childcare than your partner. Research shows that the more equitably domestic tasks are distributed, the happier wives (and husbands) are with their marriages. So resolving these issues may be critical to the health and success of your relationship. How are you going to do it? Well, if your goal is to make the division of labor around your house fairer to you, take a deep breath and read on.
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Can’t you tie you own shoes? Oh, never mind, honey. I’ll do it for you.

We know our kids need to grow up and get more independent. If they didn’t, they’d never be able to move out of the house, get jobs, and take care of us in our old age. So why are we actively encouraging our kids to be more dependent on us?

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Hey, I Don’t Like Doing Chores Either

Dear Mr. Dad: Our 12-year-old refuses to do any chores. Anytime we ask him to help around the house, he always finds an excuse not to. Sometimes he even says he doesn’t feel like cleaning up after himself. My husband says we should ground him. What’s your take on this?

A: I’ll confess right here that the phrase “I don’t feel like it” coming from a child absolutely infuriates me. My initial reaction has always been something like, “Okay, no problem. But I don’t feel like doing your laundry or driving you to your friend’s birthday party this weekend or preparing your meals or buying you that new game you want. ”

The harsh reality for your son (and every other child out there) is that very few people are passionate about housework: we do it because we like living in a clean, comfortable environment. Like it or not, your son is part of a family and family members all chip in to do what needs to be done to keep the household moving smoothly. The adults have their responsibilities and the kids have theirs (what, exactly, that means will depend on age and ability).

In addition to making good sense, chores, say the experts, are excellent for children because they help them develop some valuable skills and habits, including responsibility, helpfulness, appreciation for hard work, and the satisfaction that comes from making a positive impact on the lives of others.

At the very least, your 12-year-old should be expected to make his bed, keep his room tidy, and clean up after himself. If you have pets, he should take part in caring for them. And there’s no reason he can’t help you bring groceries in from the car, set the table for meals, and load/unload the dishwasher.

I’m sure your son isn’t refusing to help out just because he’s lazy or mean. Is it possible that he doesn’t actually know what his duties are? Are his chores fair and age-appropriate? Have you given him so many responsibilities that he no longer has time for a social life?

The first thing to do is have a talk with your son. Explain to him that everyone in your family pitches in and plays a role in creating a home that runs smoothly. That’s non-negotiable.

Next, have him help you put together a list of all the chores that need to be done on a daily/weekly/monthly basis and roughly how long each one should take. Then let him swap some of the chores he hates for ones that take the same amount of time but that he’ll hate a little less. He won’t admit it anytime soon, but he’ll really appreciate the confidence you’re showing in him by giving him some say in all this. Plus, having made the choices himself, it’ll be harder to gripe about them later on.

One more thing: avoid the urge to micro-manage his tasks or criticize his technique. For example, his dusting may not pass the white-glove inspection, but as long as he puts a genuine effort into it, don’t point out everything he missed. At least not in the moment. On the contrary, if he lives up to his responsibilities, praise him and thank him for his help. We all—adults and kids alike—want to feel needed and appreciated.

Finally, if he still refuses to do his fair share, go on strike. When he runs out of clean underwear or has to figure out how to take public transportation to meet up with his friends, he’ll have a sudden—and profound—change of heart.