Infertility: Not for Women Only

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have been trying to have a baby for two years. Both of us have undergone lots of testing but the doctors still don’t know what the problem is. Throughout all of this, dozens of people—mostly friends and family, but also doctors, nurses, lab techs, and others—have come up to me and either offered some kind of advice, asked how my wife is doing, or told me what I need to do to support her. This whole process has been extremely stressful, and both my wife and I are emotionally devastated, but not a single person has asked how I’m doing. I’m getting really angry about being ignored and I’m trying to keep from biting someone’s head off. How should I respond?
A: Just a few decades ago, infertility was considered to be the woman’s “fault.” But today, experts know that it’s more evenly split. About 40% of the time, the cause can be traced to the woman; 40% of the time it’s traced to the man; and the remaining 20% is “unexplained.” Still, because the pregnancy would happen inside the woman’s body, society assumes that women are the only ones affected by infertility. The fact that men experience stress or grief or might be “emotionally devastated” by the shattering of their hopes and dreams rarely occurs to anyone.
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Effective Interpersonal Communication


Carl Alasko, author of Say This, Not That.
Topic:
How to always say the right thing at the right time.
Issues: The five rules of effective communication; what to say–and not say–in stressful situations; exploring the biology behind communication; how to avoid spilling emotional blood.

Emotional First Aid

[amazon asin=1594631204&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid.
Topic:
Practical strategies for treating failure, rejection, guilt, and other psychological injuries
Issues: How to ease the sharp pain of rejection; how to stop the devastating ache of loneliness or disappointment of failure; how to recover from low-self-esteem or loss; how to deal with nagging guilt; much more

Overcoming Psychological Injuries + Homefront United + Military Spouse Network + 11 Military Mompreneurs

Military One Click

[amazon asin=1594631204&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Guy Winch, author of Emotional First Aid.
Topic:
Practical strategies for treating failure, rejection, guilt, and other psychological injuries
Issues: How to ease the sharp pain of rejection; how to stop the devastating ache of loneliness or disappointment of failure; how to recover from low-self-esteem or loss; how to deal with nagging guilt; much more


Homefront United NetworkAngela Caban, founder, Homefront United Network, homefrontunited.com/


National Military Spouse NetworkSue Hoppin, founder, National Military Spouse Network, www.nationalmilitaryspousenetwork.org/



MSB New MediaAdriana Domingos-Lupher, co-founder, MSB Net Media, msbnewmedia.com/


Dumbell FitnessChristina Bell Landry, owner, DumBell Fitness, dumbellfitness.com/


Daddy's Deployed Mommy's DeployedBridget Platt, CEO and founder, Daddy’s Deployed and Mommy’s Deployed, daddysdeployed.com/


Military One ClickJennifer Pilcher, founder and CEO, MilitaryOneClick.com, militaryoneclick.com/


Powerhouse PlanningJessica Bertsch, president of Powerhouse Planning, www.powerhouseplanning.com/


Women Veterans InteractiveGinger Miller, founder and CEO, Women Veterans Interactive, www.womenveteransinteractive.org/


Nomades CollectionChristy DeWitt, Sales Manager, Nomades, nomadescollection.com


R. RiveterKellie Dudley, R. Riveter, www.rriveter.com/


LockNLoad JavaLori Churchhill, co-founder, Locknload Java, locknloadjava.com/


My Military LifeWendy Polling, My Military Life/Military Life Radio, mymilitarylife.com/


The Military Spouse CoachKrista Wells, The Military Spouse Coach, themilitaryspousecoach.com/

Training Your Brain + Blueprint for a Better Life

[amazon asin=B008JUVDUE&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 1: Michael Starbird, coauthor of The 5 Elements of Effective Thinking.
Topic: Not everyone is born a genius, but you can train your brain to think better.
Issues: Learning to understand things more deeply; turning mistakes into insights; how answers can lead to questions; creating new ideas from old ones; how to promote effective thinking.


[amazon asin=0983528772&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 2: Jude Bijou, author of Attitude Reconstruction.
Topic: A blueprint for building a better life
Issues: Could all your problems stem from unexpressed sadness, anger, or fear? Is it possible to turn your life around in less than five minutes a day? Communication rules that let you speak up about anything to anyone.

Making Sense of Your Feelings

[amazon asin=1433811936&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 1: Mary Lamia, author of Emotions!
Topic: Making sense of your feelings.
Issues: Anxiety can improve creativity and productivity; guilt helps you maintain your relationships; showing pride in your accomplishments can help you socially; venting anger doesn’t help; overvaluing happiness can actually lead you to be less happy.