Getting Along with Your Mother-in-Law or Daughter-in-Law

[amazon asin=098881000X&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Deanna Brann, author of Reluctantly Related
Topic:
Secrets to getting along with your mother-in-law or daughter-in-law
Issues: Understanding why your relationship with your in-law is so hard; powerful tools and techniques to bring peace and lasting change to your relationship; how to change your relationship without having to confront your in-law; what husbands and sons can do to stay out of the middle.

The Latest Cure for Obesity? Get a Divorce

We often hear that being in a good relationship is good for your health. Satisfied couples, for example, are more likely to take medication as directed and to schedule yearly physicals. But when it comes to weight gain, the opposite may be true. Couples who are satisfied with their marriage tend to put on the [...]

Keeping Your Distance: American Men Deal With Intimacy

Intimacy is a scarcity for American men –if by “intimacy” we mean revealing and sharing what is innermost about us. Few men live by this creed. Intimate connection becomes an abstraction, a nice idea, a frustrated lack.  The typical American male can’t grasp intimacy, having precious little real experience of it. Just mentioning the word [...]

Making Your Ex an Ally + Helping Your Kids Thrive after Divorce

[amazon asin=160882277X&template=thumbnail&chan=default]Guest 1: Judith Ruskay Rabinor, author of Befriending Your Ex after Divorce.
Topic: Making life better for you, your kids, and yes, your ex.
Issues: How to befriend your ex; the art of creating an ally from an opponent; when anger prevents befriending; how children benefit when exes cooperate.


[amazon asin=B006QZ789E&template=thumbnail&chan=default]Guest 2: Lisa Rene Reynolds, author of Parenting through Divorce .
Topic: Helping children thrive during and after the split.
Issues: Anticipating children’s emotions and reactions; practical advice to guide children through divorce while retaining a strong, healthy, caring environment.

Sexism in the Courtroom: What’s Good for the Goose Could Send the Gander to Jail

sexism in the courtroom is unacceptable--but common

Dear Mr. Dad: It seems like every time I turn on the TV there’s a story about welfare moms with nine kids who are collecting huge government checks, or deadbeat dads who have five kids with five different women and aren’t paying child support. I really resent that my tax dollars are paying for those kids and their mothers. Isn’t there something we can do to keep those men from getting women pregnant?

A: Do you really want to go down that road? Like you, most of us have heard the stories about women on welfare who keep having kids they can’t possibly support. And, like you, many of us have shaken our head and thought something along the lines of, “she shouldn’t be allowed to have any more kids.” But thinking that is usually as far as it goes. In my view, having children is a right, not a privilege. So the idea of actually preventing a woman from getting pregnant—even if she already has 9 kids—is abhorrent. It wasn’t all that long ago that many intellectually challenged (formerly known as “mentally retarded”) women were medically sterilized without their consent.

But what puzzles me is why the right to become a parent doesn’t seem to extend to men. After reading your email, I saw a news item about a case in Elyria, Ohio that tackles this issue head on. Here’s the story: Asim Taylor, 35, has fathered four children and hasn’t paid child support since 2009—he owes around $79,000. Of course, not knowing the exact circumstances (for example, Asim might have been incapacitated by illness and isn’t earning enough money to pay his obligations), we can’t make blanket statements about him. But let’s assume the worst: that he has the ability to pay yet simply refuses to do so. In cases like that, I’m okay with garnishing his wages, seizing tax returns, and doing whatever else it takes to get his attention.

Unfortunately, that’s not enough for Judge James Walther, who has forbidden Taylor from having any more children for five years—unless he can support the ones he already has.

This is what it sounds like to me: It’s okay for a woman to have as many children as she’d like to. Ditto for a guy who pays his bills but completely neglects his children. But it’s definitely not okay for a guy who can’t afford to pay child support but who might very well be an amazingly involved dad. In one of the great understatements of the decade, Taylor’s attorney says that Judge Walther is “overstepping.”
The judge’s ruling reinforces two completely absurd notions. First, that men are 100 percent responsible for contraception. Theoretically, if Taylor’s wife or girlfriend does get pregnant, she could choose between having an abortion or giving birth, which would send Taylor to jail. Second, that it’s a man’s money—rather than his capacity to love and nurture his children—that determines his fitness as a father.

I’m all for expecting high levels of personal responsibility from people. But by trying to legally impose a double standard, Judge Walther is doing a tremendous disservice to men by holding them to a higher standard than women. And he’s doing an equally tremendous disservice to women by treating them like hapless victims of men’s inability to keep their pants on instead of adults who have made conscious decisions about procreation. Having a baby takes two people—and both should be held responsible for supporting it.

Befriending Your Ex + Kids Thriving after Divorce + Remarried with Children + Talking about Sex

[amazon asin=160882277X&template=thumbnail&chan=default]Guest 1: Judith Ruskay Rabinor, author of Befriending Your Ex after Divorce.
Topic: Making life better for you, your kids, and yes, your ex.
Issues: How to befriend your ex; the art of creating an ally from an opponent; when anger prevents befriending; how children benefit when exes cooperate.


[amazon asin=B006QZ789E&template=thumbnail&chan=default]Guest 2: Lisa Rene Reynolds, author of Parenting through Divorce .
Topic: Helping children thrive during and after the split.
Issues: Anticipating children’s emotions and reactions; practical advice to guide children through divorce while retaining a strong, healthy, caring environment.


[amazon asin=0553382004&template=thumbnail&chan=default]Guest 3: Barbara LeBey, author of Remarried with Children .
Topic: 10 secrets for successfully blending and extending your family.
Issues: What are blended families? Debunking myths and misconceptions; learning how to navigate the stresses, anticipate the pitfalls, and build a brand new family that works for everyone.


[amazon asin=155704810X&template=thumbnail&chan=default]Guest 4: Debra Haffner, author of From Diapers to Dating.
Topic: Talking about sex.
Issues: Raising sexually healthy children from infancy through middle school.
Issues: identifying and communicating your values about sexuality; helping kids deal with the glut of sexual messages in the media; sensible strategies for teaching the facts of life; internet safety.