On Not Being A Disneyland Dad

I’m a divorced dad and don’t get to see my kids as much as I’d like to. I have the typical custody arrangement – every other weekend and one night a week. I miss them and I know they miss me, so I try to make it up to them by packing our time together with all sorts of really fun activities and trips. By the end of the weekend, I’m completely exhausted and stressed out. I really want to spend some quiet time with the kids, but they seem to want each visit to be more fun than the last. What can I do?

Non-custodial fathers-especially those with fairly infrequent visitation-often feel obligated to make every second of every visit with their children “count.” Sometimes they’re motivated by guilt, the fear of losing their children’s love, trying to make up for lost time, a desire to compete with the ex, or something else. But whatever it is, the result is the same: they buy their kids extravagant gifts, eat out every meal, take them on expensive trips, give into their every whim, forget about discipline, and generally treat them like visiting royalty instead of children. It’s no wonder that a lot of people refer to this kind of father as the “Disneyland Dad.”
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