Verbal Discipline: That Whole Sticks-and-Stones Thing is Wrong

screaming at teens

Dear Mr. Dad: How bad is verbal discipline for kids? My next-door neighbors have a couple of teens and they are constantly yelling at them. Every single day. Not just a little—I’m talking top-of-your-lungs kind of stuff. Besides being really unpleasant to listen to, I’m worried about how that might affect the kids. I see them almost every day and I haven’t noticed any bruises or anything else that might indicate that they’re being hit. Still, should I say something to the parents or just keep my mouth shut?

A: “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me,” is right up there with “Johnny and Julie siting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G….” and “I’m rubber, you’re glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you” on the list of top annoying (yet endlessly repeated) childhood sayings. It also happens to be completely wrong. Screaming at kids is plenty bad. In fact, a new study has found that yelling at teens may do at least as much long-term damage as hitting.
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Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting

[amazon asin=0142196924&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Noel Janis-Norton, author of Calmer, Easier, Happier Parenting.
Topic:
Five strategies that end daily battles and get kids to listen the first time.
Issues: A step-by-step plan that will help you raise a child who is cooperative, considerate, confident, and self-reliant. The five strategies are: descriptive praise, preparing for success, reflective listening, never ask twice, and rewards and consequences.

Better Thinking Skills + Change Your Attitude + Positive Discipline + Screamfree Parenting

[amazon asin=B008JUVDUE&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 1: Michael Starbird, coauthor of The 5 Elements of Effective Thinking.
Topic: Not everyone is born a genius, but you can train your brain to think better.
Issues: Learning to understand things more deeply; turning mistakes into insights; how answers can lead to questions; creating new ideas from old ones; how to promote effective thinking.


[amazon asin=0983528772&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 2: Jude Bijou, author of Attitude Reconstruction.
Topic: A blueprint for building a better life
Issues: Could all your problems stem from unexpressed sadness, anger, or fear? Is it possible to turn your life around in less than five minutes a day? Communication rules that let you speak up about anything to anyone.


[amazon asin=B008P5BK1U&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 3: Ronald Mah, author of Difficult Behavior in Early Childhood.
Topic: Positive discipline for pre-K – third grade and beyond.
Issues: Reconciling different behavioral expectations of families and schools; applying timeout effectively; motivating children immediately and powerfully; identifying early signs of depression, anxiety, and special needs.


[amazon asin=0767927435&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 4: Hal Runkel, author of Screamfree Parenting.
Topic: Raising your kids by keeping your cool.
Issues: Why your emotional reactions to a child’s misbehavior backfires; parenting is not about kids—it’s about parents; why the greatest thing we can do for our kids is learn to focus on ourselves; how empty threats are really broken promises.

Raising Happy, Successful, Cooperative Children–with Less Discipline

[amazon asin=B00A6HR884&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 1:Carol Tuttle, author of The Child Whisperer.
Topic: The ultimate guide for raising happy, successful, cooperative children.
Issues:Have a happier, more cooperative child using less discipline; repair troubled parent/teen relationships; know exactly how to best motivate your child; foster more natural confidence and success in your child.

Becoming a Child Whisperer + Army Chaplains + Mentoring Female Servicemembers and Vets

[amazon asin=B00A6HR884&template=thumbnail1&chan=default]Guest 1:Carol Tuttle, author of The Child Whisperer.
Topic: The ultimate guide for raising happy, successful, cooperative children.
Issues:Have a happier, more cooperative child using less discipline; repair troubled parent/teen relationships; know exactly how to best motivate your child; foster more natural confidence and success in your child.

Interviews with


Friend vs. Parent—You Don’t Have to Choose

Dear Mr. Dad. I’m the single father of a six-year-old girl. How do I balance being a parent and a friend? I don’t want to lose her by being strict all the time, but I also don’t want her to grow up as a spoiled brat.

A: Somehow people got the idea that parenthood and friendship are mutually exclusive—that it’s one or the other—and that we should always be the parent and never be the friend. That’s absurd. In fact, it’s not only possible to be both, it’s actually a really good idea.

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