Mothers Who Can’t Love

[amazon asin=0062204343&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Susan Forward, author of Mothers Who Can’t Love.
Topic:
A healing guide for daughters
Issues: The old cliche says that women marry their fathers–turns out, they marry their mothers; five types of mothers who can’t love: (severely narcissistic, overly enmeshed, control freak, mothers who need mothering, mothers who betray and neglect); recognizing the links between past and present–and how to make lasting changes.

Dads Raising Daughters

[amazon asin=1440545456&template=thumbleft&chan=default]Brian Klems, author of Oh Boy, You’re Having a Girl.
Topic:
A Dad’s Survival Guide to Raising Daughters.
Issues: Learning to love pink, tea parties, and painted nails; thinking ahead to her first crush, dating, marriage; why having daughters is the best.

Girls, Girls Everywhere and Not a Boy in Sight

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have twin daughters, and are now expecting our third child–another daughter. I feel terrible about thinking this way, but when we found out the new arrival was going to be another girl, I was disappointed. It’s as though having a third daughter reduces my value as a man (I’m quite sure my in-laws, who were hoping for a boy this time ’round too, feel exactly the same way). This probably makes me sound like a terrible person, but I was really hoping for a jock. Is there anything I can do to move past this internal struggle?

A: The first thing you need to do is stop torturing yourself. There is absolutely no scientific evidence that shows that fathers of girls are any less masculine than fathers of boys (and I say that as a Marine Corps veteran with three daughters). Although most parents wouldn’t admit it in public, there’s a ton of research that shows that a majority of dads—and moms—do have a preference. And that preference is usually for a boy. Men often hope for boys because they aren’t quite sure what to do with girls. And women often hope for boys because they want their husband to be happy. After the first child, though, most parents say they want the next one to be the other sex. So you’re not alone.

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Could Child Abuse Cause Cancer?

There’s no question that for many children, being abused increases their risk of anxiety, depression, academic and behavioral problems, and other mental health issues. But a researcher at Purdue University (in Indiana) just found an unexpected link between child abuse and cancer. Kenneth Ferraro, a sociologist at Purdue’s Center on Aging and the Life Course, and his colleagues found that frequent abuse by a parent increased a child’s risk of developing cancer as an adult.
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My Husband Treats Our Son and Daughter Differently

My husband loves to wrestle with our twins, but he treats them so differently when they play rough. He’s very gentle with our daughter and much more physical with our son. I guess I’m wondering about two things: Is there any reason to be more gentle with girls than boys, and is there any chance that a lot of wrestling could make our son violent?

With all the talk about youth violence these days, parents are constantly on the lookout for anything that might be responsible for the problem. One common theory is the one you raise, that physical play and roughhousing-which is something dads spend a lot of time doing-teaches kids to be violent. The evidence, however, supports the exact opposite conclusion:
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A Single Dad’s Guide to His Daughter’s Puberty

I’m a single dad and my daughter is 11. I know I’m going to have some kind of discussion with her about puberty, but I don’t have a clue where to begin. I also don’t know what and how much I should say to my daughter about her body and about sexual feelings she is going to start to experience. Help!

Congratulations! You’re about to deal with something that most dads spend a lot of time worrying about. Luckily, though, it really isn’t all that bad.

Whether you’re a custodial dad or you share custody, it’s reasonably safe to assume that your ex will be having some discussions about puberty and menstruation with your daughter. But sometimes things don’t work out exactly the way you planned. Even if they do, it’s a good idea for you to prepare yourself to deal with these issues anyway. Women’s bodies have always been something of a mystery to most men and it’s perfectly normal to be confused, embarrassed, or even somewhat put off by your daughter’s physical changes.
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