Expectant Fathers

Q: My wife just had a miscarriage. I’m trying to be as strong and supportive as I can but it’s affected me too. I wanted to be a dad so badly, and my wife really wanted to be a mom. We are both devastated. I want to talk to someone about what I’m going through [Readmore]

Q: My wife is smoking while pregnant and is a recovering alcoholic—or at least she was. Her doctor told her to quit smoking immediately and forever and she promised she would. But just a few weeks later she started up again. And she’s started drinking again too. She says she’s only having a few glasses [Readmore]

Q: My wife is two months pregnant and is nauseous pretty much all day long. Isn’t morning sickness supposed to be in the morning? Is there anything I can do to help her calm her stomach? Will her morning sickness last throughout the pregnancy? Does morning sickness hurt the baby? A: About half of all [Readmore]

Q: My wife is pregnant and I’d really like to work out with her. I have always been a bit of a jock, and I think it would be good for her to get some exercise too, but I’m worried that it might hurt the baby. Are there any exercises that are safe for us [Readmore]

Q: Help! I’m an expectant father and something’s happening to my libido. I used to be one of those guys who loved to have sex anytime. But now that my wife is pregnant, I’ve completely lost interest. What’s wrong with me? A: For some men, sex during pregnancy is an incredible turn-on. But for others, [Readmore]

Q: My pregnant wife has been bugging me to go to all her doctor’s appointments during her pregnancy. I want to be an involved dad, but I can’t see any real reason for me to go to the doctor with her. Can’t I just find out about being a new father, what our infant needs, [Readmore]

Q: Every expectant couple I know is taking a Lamaze or Bradley class. Is it really necessary to learn about the childbirth process? Or will I end up sitting around with the other dads, listening to a bunch of pregnant moms talking about babies? A: One of the advantages of taking a childbirth preparation class [Readmore]

Q:I’m really excited about my wife’s pregnancy and started to go to the doctor’s appointments with her. But the doctor basically ignores me or gives me a silly looking smile. I want to stay involved, learn about how our baby is growing, and what to expect when our infant arrives, but I’m getting really angry. [Readmore]

Q: My wife is pregnant and I’ve started putting on weight too! I’ve also been having nose bleeds and headaches. I’m excited about being a parent and helping care for our new infant, but I’m afraid there is something physical going on. What’s wrong with me? A: In a word, there’s nothing wrong with you. [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have twin daughters, and are now expecting our third child–another daughter. I feel terrible about thinking this way, but when we found out the new arrival was going to be another girl, I was disappointed. It’s as though having a third daughter reduces my value as a man [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m an expectant father and something weird is happening. Ever since I found out that my wife is pregnant, my loyalty to her has started to waver and now all I can think about is going out and having affairs—especially with her best friend. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m in [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for quite some time. He’s 45 and I’m 40. We both had extensive testing and it turns out that he has some sperm issues. Our fertility specialist has suggested a number of really expensive treatments, including surgery. Aren’t there any natural options [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m in the US Air Force, stationed in Italy. My wife is 5.5 months pregnant with our first and I’ve asked our on-base obstetricians to allow me to catch the baby when it’s born. I feel I should be the first person to hold my child, not some doctor we’ll never see [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My girlfriend is pregnant. We’d talked about having children someday but hadn’t expected it would happen so soon. She wants to terminate the pregnancy. But all of a sudden I’m feeling very depressed. I really want to be a dad and her decision to have an abortion is going to put an [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: We’re about to have a baby and my wife is trying to convince me to have a home birth with a tub of water. I just don’t feel comfortable with this idea and would really rather just go to the hospital and deal with a regular doctor. I’m worried about what could [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I have postpartum depression pretty bad, and I feel like my husband thinks I’m faking it. How can I help him understand that I seriously need his help? A: Brava to you—most women who have post partum depression don’t get the help they need, often because they’re embarrassed to ask for it. [Readmore]

Dear Readers: Over the past few weeks I’ve received a number of emails that hit on the same general topic, but, interestingly, from completely different perspectives. Here they are: Q: Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is pregnant and I’m finding that I’m way more attracted to her sexually right now, and she’s not even showing [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is pregnant. She already has two children from two different dads, but this will be my first child. She seems to have feelings of regret about the whole thing even though we planned this pregnancy for a long time. How can I reassure her that we’re going to be fine [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is pregnant and wants me to be her “labor coach” for the delivery. This is my first baby and I’m really nervous. What can I do to prepare? A: Congratulations on your impending fatherhood! The very first thing to do is banish the word “coach” from your childbirth vocabulary. When [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is six months pregnant and she just signed the two of us up for a childbirth prep class at the hospital where our baby will be born. The problem is that while she’s all excited about the class, I have no interest at all. Don’t get me wrong—I’m excited about [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is due in three months and we’ve seen ads and flyers for cord blood banking. Several of our friends have signed up for it. Is it really worthwhile? A: Not all that long ago, placentas and umbilical cords were considered medical waste. But today, the stem cells found in umbilical [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: After trying for several years to conceive the “regular” way, my wife and I decided to adopt. She’s super excited and has already started outfitting the nursery and buying baby clothes. I’d like to share her joy, but, honestly, I’m feeling a little depressed. Is there something wrong with me? A: Nope, [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is expecting our first child. Initially, I was really excited, but lately I’ve been having these strange thoughts that the baby isn’t actually mine. I trust my wife completely and don’t want to mention this to her, but am I nuts? A: In a word, No. At some point after [Readmore]

Dear Readers: In last week’s column, we heard from a woman who, was planning to get pregnant. We talked about a number of important steps she should take before actively trying to conceive. Even though she’s the one who’ll be carrying the baby, there’s plenty that the dad-to-be can do to increase fertility and up [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I are planning to get pregnant in about a year. We hear a lot about what to do, health wise, during the pregnancy itself. But what about before? Are there things I should be doing to get my body ready? And are there things my husband should be doing? [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: Please settle an argument. My wife—who’s five months pregnant—says that our baby’s senses are developing throughout the pregnancy. I think she’s crazy. How can an unborn baby develop a sense of touch or taste or anything else? A: This round goes to your wife. Your baby will be born with a full [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m an expectant father and I want to take some time off after our baby is born. But even though my company offers some family-friendly benefits, my boss isn’t very happy about the idea. At all. I know I have legal rights under the Family Leave Act, but I don’t want things [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have been trying to conceive for nine months and our fertility doctor is suggesting that we consider IVF (in-vitro fertilization). Step one is for me to bring in a sperm sample for analysis. What are they analyzing? Frankly, I find the idea of producing a sample on demand [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m 45 and my wife is 35. We’ve been together for more than ten years and have finally decided to have a family. I know that it may be harder for my wife to conceive than it would have been if she was a little younger. But someone recently told her that [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is pregnant with our first child, and complete strangers keep coming up to rub her belly. She seems pretty okay with iit, but it’s driving me nuts. What can I do? A: As intensely private as pregnancy is, it is also inescapably public. And your partner’s growing belly can bring [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m a first time father-to-be, and the entire pregnancy has been going very well for me and my wife. But about two weeks ago, I started experiencing anxiety which was pretty severe at times. I got very scared about me or my wife getting ill or having an accident and dying. My [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m now in my seventh month of pregnancy and our sex life is non-existent. My husband used to want it all the time and we made love a lot. But he has hardly touched me since my first trimester ended. I haven’t gained that much weight and I don’t feel unattractive. He [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is 11 weeks pregnant and driving me nuts. She’s worried constantly about our financial situation, her time off work, child care, you name it. She’s mad at me one minute, sad the next, and happy the one after that. Frankly, I’m not really buying the whole “emotional roller coaster” thing. [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I are in our late thirties. We have a 4-year old daughter and would love to have a second child. But with the financial crisis, we’re having trouble keeping our heads above water and feel that we’re in no position to bring another child into the world. We are [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: I’m almost eight months pregnant but my boyfriend and I are having relationship troubles. We’re both jobless right now, which is a strain. Plus, I get the feeling that he doesn’t want the responsibility of being a dad and wishes he was still single. He denies it and insists he loves me [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: Our three-year-old son is jealous of his new baby brother. My wife and I did our best to prepare him for the baby’s arrival, and initially, he seemed happy about having a sibling to play with. But now, he seems to be angry with us and aggressive toward the baby, throwing tantrums [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have been trying for years to have a child of our own. We’re now considering adoption. But there’s so much to think about: Should we take in a foster child first, just to see how things go? Can we trust the State adoption agency? Will we be able [Readmore]

Dear Mr. Dad: Our first child is due in six months and we’ve decided I won’t be going back to work. How do we go from dual income couple to single income family without feeling the pinch too much? A: Congratulations on thinking about this now—I’m always surprised at how many couples put off talking [Readmore]

Guest 1: Joe Rawlinson, author of Dad’s Guide to Twins. Topic: How to survive the twin pregnancy and prepare for your twins. Issues: Preparations you need to make for newborn twins; answers to “how am I going to pay for all of this?” what twin gear you need and what you can skip; special challenges [Readmore]

Guest: Jena Pincott, author of Do Chocolate Lovers Have Sweeter Babies?Topic: The surprising science of pregnancy. Issues: Does stress sharpen your baby’s mind—or dull it? Can you predict your baby’s temperament? Why are babies born in the darker months of the year more likely to be risk-takers? Are bossy, dominant women more likely to have [Readmore]

Guest 1: Sara Rosenquist, author of After the Stork. Topic: A couple’s guide to preventing and overcoming postpartum depression. Issues: What is postpartum depression (PPD)—and what isn’t it? The true causes of PPD; warning signs; why just as many dads as moms develop PPD; when expectations meet reality; the social side of PPD. Podcast: Play [Readmore]

Guest for both segments: Scott Simon, author of Baby, We Were Meant for Each Other. Topic: The joys and wonders of adoption. Issues: coping with the “failure” of not being able to get pregnant the natural way; what really makes a family; are we hard-wired to adopt? How and why do we fall in love? [Readmore]

Guest 1: Marc Weissbluth, author of Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Twins. Topic: Sleep training your multiples. Issues: The difference between healthy sleep and junk sleep; why it’s important for babies to learn to fall asleep unassisted; tips for synchronizing twins’ sleep schedules; recognizing early drowsiness clues so you can catch the sleep wave before it’s [Readmore]

11/23/08 Guest 1: Matthew Miller, author of Maybe Baby. Topic: The story of assisted reproduction and attempted parenthood—from the dad’s perspective Issues: The anguish of infertility; the anger, frustration, humor, and heartbreak that dads (and moms) experience; Guest 2: Karen Ronney, author of Proud Parents Guide to Raising Athletic, Balanced, and Coordinated Kids. Topic: A [Readmore]

Guest 1: Janine Walker Caffrey, author of Drive. Topic: 9 ways to motivate your kids to achieve. Issues: Getting kids excited about learning; encouraging children to seek opportunities beyond their comfort zone; using rewards and consequences to get results; inspiring children to take charge of their own life. Guest 2: Sarah McMoyler, coauthor of The [Readmore]

Guest 1: Darci Klein, author of To Full Term. Topic: Triumphing over miscarriage. Issues: Half of all miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities—but the other are not; understanding options; confronting resisting medical professionals and treating medical conditions that may be causing miscarriages or premature births. Guest 2: Mark Crawford, author of When Two Become Three. [Readmore]