Love and Approval
Dear Mr. Dad: I have been dating a divorced dad for a year now. I’ve met his two awesome daughters. We’ve hung out together but they don’t know that I’m in a relationship with their dad. How do we tell them that we are more than friends in a way that will be least disruptive and will produce the best results? A: Dating a divorced dad can be a pretty daunting prospect and you’re one brave woman to be doing it. You’re absolutely right to be thinking about this now, but I’d be willing to bet that your boyfriend’s daughters...
read moreSexism in the Courtroom: What’s Good for the Goose Could Send the Gander to Jail
Dear Mr. Dad: It seems like every time I turn on the TV there’s a story about welfare moms with nine kids who are collecting huge government checks, or deadbeat dads who have five kids with five different women and aren’t paying child support. I really resent that my tax dollars are paying for those kids and their mothers. Isn’t there something we can do to keep those men from getting women pregnant? A: Do you really want to go down that road? Like you, most of us have heard the stories about women on welfare who keep having kids they...
read moreLiar, Liar, Nose on Fire: Why We Lie to Our Kids
Dear Mr. Dad: Like most parents, I encourage my kids to tell me the truth and I always give them consequences for lying. The other day, just after I’d taken away my 9-year-old’s video game privileges for lying to me about having done his homework, I realized that I lie to my kids all the time. Is there a difference between a parent’s lies and a child’s? A: What a great question. As adults, we know how important it is to tell truth and we teach our children that it’s wrong to lie. But then we turn around and do it—right to their...
read moreThinking of Becoming a Sperm Donor? Be Afraid. Be Very Afraid.
TOPEKA, Kan. — A Topeka sperm donor says a state effort to force him to pay child support for a child conceived through artificial insemination by a lesbian couple is a politically motivated act that has cost him thousands of dollars. William Marotta, 46, said he is “a little scared about where this is going to go, primarily for financial reasons,” The Topeka Capital-Journal reported Monday. When he donated sperm to Angela Bauer and Jennifer Schreiner in 2009, Marotta relinquished all parental rights, including financial...
read morePrivacy on Line? Good Luck Finding an App for That
Dear Mr. Dad: Like a lot of people, I sometimes let my 8-year old play with my smart phone while I’m driving. I’ve got things set up so he can’t download any apps by himself, but he’s talked me into a getting a bunch for him. It just hit me the other day that I don’t think I’ve ever seen any privacy policy notices with the apps. How do I know they aren’t spying on us? A: Unfortunately, you don’t. And given that 85% of Americans have a cell phone, (45% have smartphones) and 25% have tablets, your question is an excellent one....
read moreStop Blaming Parents and Start Dealing with Mental Illness
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m in shock about the Connecticut school shooting. I blame it on the parents of the killer. If they would have done a better job, including keeping their son away from guns, this whole thing might have been avoided. Why can’t we take children away from people like that and have them raised by truly loving parents? A: Like you, I see the murder of 26 people as a terrible, terrible tragedy. But I disagree with the rest. Adam Lanza was a loner had had few friends. But what makes you think his parents were unfit or didn’t love...
read moreF is for Fat and B is for Blind
Dear Mr. Dad: My 7-year-old has always been a little chunky, but recently, his doctor said he was obese. I don’t want him to go through what I did in school, and I don’t want him to develop the health problems that come from being obese either. What can I do to help him burn some of that fat? Or is it just “baby fat” and he’ll burn it off as he goes through the next growth spurt? A: Let me start with your last question: The baby fat excuse runs out of steam by around age two. After that, kids who are overweight or obese are at risk...
read moreCan Weight Training Save Your Child’s Life? Could Be…
Dear Mr. Dad: My 9-year old son is sports obsessed and quite athletic. He’s involved in one sport or another all year long, and he recently told my wife and me that he wants to start lifting weights. Is it safe for kids that young to do weight training? A: When I was about your son’s age, there were two things I really wanted to do: lift weights and throw a curve ball. I was told that both activities would do serious, irreparable, long-term damage: that throwing curves would strain my elbow and destroy my joints, and that lifting weights...
read moreAn Uneven Playing Field for Parents with Disabilities
Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I both have disabilities. He is blind and I suffer from a traumatic brain injury I received serving in Iraq. I’m pregnant and we’re due in about a month. We were both so excited, but a friend told us that there’s a chance we could lose custody of the baby because we both have disabilities. Now, instead of looking forward to becoming parents, we’re both in a panic. Is that true? If so, what can we do? A: Thank you so much for your question. I often hear from parents with special needs kids, but rarely...
read moreCyberbullying: When Going Viral is Bad News
Dear Mr. Dad: My teenage daughter is often very upset and withdrawn after she uses her computer or checks her phone. And lately, she’s been refusing to go to school in the morning. She won’t talk to my husband or me about what’s going on. Could she be a victim of cyberbullying, and if so, is there anything we can do about it? A: Humans have been bullying each other ever since we lived in caves, and students have been bullying each other ever since the first school was built. Bullying is so common that it’s almost impossible to find...
read moreMother Nature Never Had to Balance Work and Family
Dear Mr. Dad: My daughter is five days old and today I had to go back to work. All day, I’ve felt an impending sadness that only gets worse. All I want is to be home with my family. I have to go to work and be responsible, but I can’t shake this horrible sadness. A: Up to 85 percent of new moms go through what’s called the “baby blues”—feelings of sadness and depression that last for a few days or weeks and then slowly fade. It sounds like you’re going through something very similar. Plus, you’ve slammed right into one of the...
read moreWhy College Isn’t for Everyone
Dear Mr. Dad: My 16-year-old son has been talking for a while about what he plans to do after he graduates high school. Everyone in my family has at least one degree so I just assumed he’d be going to college too. As we’ve discussed his plans, though, it’s becoming clear that they don’t include college. I’m trying to encourage him to at least do some research on programs, look into financial aid, and start sending out applications. But he thinks there’s no point in it. How important is higher education today? A: Pretty...
read moreDriven to Distraction—and Death
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m worried about my two teenagers. They both have a driver’s license, but even though we’ve talked about the dangers of texting while driving, I suspect they’re doing it anyway. They’re generally smart, responsible young people, but all it takes is one second. What can we do to keep them from making a mistake that could kill them—or someone else? A: Given that more than 80 percent of teens use a cell phone while driving, you’re absolutely right to be concerned. Car crashes are the leading cause of death for all...
read moreGirls, Girls Everywhere and Not a Boy in Sight
Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have twin daughters, and are now expecting our third child–another daughter. I feel terrible about thinking this way, but when we found out the new arrival was going to be another girl, I was disappointed. It’s as though having a third daughter reduces my value as a man (I’m quite sure my in-laws, who were hoping for a boy this time ’round too, feel exactly the same way). This probably makes me sound like a terrible person, but I was really hoping for a jock. Is there anything I can do to move past this...
read moreMy Cheating Heart
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m an expectant father and something weird is happening. Ever since I found out that my wife is pregnant, my loyalty to her has started to waver and now all I can think about is going out and having affairs—especially with her best friend. I don’t know what’s happening, but I’m in desperate need of help—it’s driving me crazy. A: Cheating in marriages is nothing new. And although there’s a stereotype that men are the primary cheaters, a number of studies have found that women are just as likely as men to stray....
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