Dear Mr. Dad: When I was a kid, I remember learning about the importance of charity and generosity and helping others less fortunate. But it seems to me that kids these days aren’t learning those lessons. Is it possible to discourage selfishness and encourage generosity in my kids?

A: The best thing about the phrase “it’s better to give than to receive” is that it’s actually true—especially for kids.

Because we’re continually doing things for our kids, they’re very comfortable being on the receiving end. We give them food, clothing, and everything else they need. But we’ve all seen what happens when the shoe’s on the other foot. Give them a chance to step outside the receiving role and experience the satisfaction of being the generous one, and they vibrate with excitement. They feel grown up. It empowers them.

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Dear Mr. Dad: Six months ago, my wife and I divorced because she was having an affair. After our divorce, she remarried and my 3-year old son has become attached to her new husband, who showers him with expensive presents. I know my son loves me, but it isn’t easy for me not to feel hurt by their relationship. I don’t want to harm my son’s relationship with his stepfather, so how can I deal with these feelings?

A: Sometimes mothers think they’re the only ones who feel threatened by their ex’s new relationships, but it happens to dads, too. It’s never easy to watch another man come into the picture and “steal” your family. In your situation, such feelings might be worse because of how your marriage ended and how quickly the stepfather entered the picture. Rest assured, though, there’s nothing unusual about your reactions.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I have friends and family spread out around the country, and we always seem to have company. We love having guests, but I recently ran into a tough situation. One of my closest friends from high school made plans to come and spend a week with us, along with her husband and two kids. The catch is that her three-year-old is terrified of dogs and we have two labs that we consider members of our family. The dogs are friendly and quite used to being around small children, but that doesn’t do much to ease my friend’s anxiety. I can understand she doesn’t want to spend her entire vacation calming a screaming child, but at the same time, I’m not very enthusiastic about the added expense and disruption of having to board the dogs. What should we do?

A: At first glance, your question seems to be about manners: You and your family are generous enough to open your home to a friend, and in accepting your offer, your guest should be agreeable to the rules and dynamics of your home. But it’s clearly more complicated than that—longstanding friendships have been destroyed over far less.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I’d like to get my kids started on an allowance, but I’m in information overload. Is there a way to set up a meaningful and reasonable allowance system for my kids?

A: You’re right—there are few other issues with as many often-contradictory opinions, and since the topic of allowance touches on money and responsibility, it isn’t surprising that so many of those opinions are so fiercely held.

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Dear Mr. Dad: During the recent fires in Southern California, my kids seemed fascinated. It seemed like a a good time to talk to them about fire safety, but aside from “Don’t play with matches,” I have no idea how to go about it. What are the basic ideas I need to get across, and how can we make our home as fire-safe as possible?

A: Good for you for recognizing the need. Too few parents do, and the results are often tragic. Children set over 100,000 fires per year—one every five minutes. Over 4,000 Americans die each year as the result of fire, including more than 600 children. Property damage in 2006 alone totaled over $11 billion, and more people die in the U.S. as a result of fire than all natural disasters combined.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I love to cook, and we go out of our way to make meals we think our kids will like—or at least eat! But time after time we find ourselves dumping untouched food into leftover containers, or worse, into the trash. They seem to eat nothing but macaroni and cheese, and we’re worried that they’re not getting what they need in their diets. What can we do?

A: This may not make you feel any better, but I’m betting that every parent reading this column is nodding his or her head in agreement. Apparently all our children got the same memo.

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Dear Mr. Dad: In the past two weeks I’ve heard from three friends whose children have been hurt in a fall at home. I thought my childproofing days were behind me, but now I’m worried that the same thing could happen at my house. What can I do to make sure my kids are safe in their own home?

A: Great question. There are nearly 6000 fall-related deaths every year in the US, and falls are the No.1 reason for injury and death caused at home. In fact, children are at risk for taking a fall from the time they start crawling until they’re well into their pre-teens. Fall-proofing your house doesn’t have to be a big, complicated, or expensive deal. But it will require some effort. And fortunately, it’s never to late to start.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I generally have a very even temper as a parent, but once in a while, little things build up and POW! I completely lose my cool. The kids look terrified when it happens, and I always hate myself for that. How can I control my temper?

A: Okay, everyone who’s NEVER gone ballistic in front of their kids, raise your hand. Come on, get ‘em up there…

Just as I thought. No hands!

The first thing you need to do is to take it easy on yourself. Every parent who lives outside of a 1950s TV show gets angry at times. It’s an absolutely normal and acceptable response to frustration. We all know how infuriating it can be when your child translates your “NOW” into “when I’m good and ready,” or when your third, calm, request to do—or stop doing—something is completely ignored.

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Dear Mr. Dad: Neither of my kids (6 and 3) has ever had to deal with death, but they have several older relatives who are very close to them. They will not live forever. How can I prepare my kids as well as possible for their first encounter with death?

A: First, congratulations for recognizing the need to prepare. Most kids will be confronted with a death before they reach adulthood, and too few parents take the initiative. A funeral is no place to think about death for the first time.

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Dear Mr. Dad: In recent weeks, my six-year-old has suddenly become completely untrustworthy, lying, cheating, and stealing whenever she gets a chance. Yesterday we came home from the grocery store and I found that she had stolen some candy! I’m getting worried. What can I do to nip this in the bud?

A: The first thing to do is relax. Child development experts agree that before age three, kids have no clear understanding that these behaviors are wrong. Between three and six, children develop an understanding that lying, cheating, and stealing are wrong and they begin some innocent exploration of limits, lying about little things, like whether they’ve washed their hands or gone to the bathroom.

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