Dear Mr. Dad: My daughter turns ten next week and has made it known that she expects, needs, yearns for, and won’t be able to live without a cell phone. “Everybody has one,” she says. Is she too young? I’m not even sure I know what the issues are, but it seems like opening a huge can of worms.

A: When I was a kid, the rules about cell phones were simple. Oh wait, we didn’t have cell phones at all, which explains why you’re not up on the issues. So let’s start with a few advantages.

• Cell phones allow you and your kids to stay in touch. The additional safety and security that this provides is—at least from your perspective—the greatest benefit. Your daughter can call if she needs you, and you can call her if you need to know where she is and what she’s doing.
• Many parents (mostly those with children older than your daughter) use cell phones as a small-scale introduction to adult responsibilities—everything from paying the bill and staying within monthly minutes to keeping it charged.

At the same time, there are some potential downsides. Whether they outweigh the benefits is your call.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I’ve suspected for a while that my twelve-year-old son is being bullied at school. I finally managed to get it out of him at bedtime one night. He doesn’t seem to be in real danger—it’s mostly petty harassment—but I remember being terrorized by exactly that at his age, and I just don’t want him going through it. What can I do?

A: Few things are as difficult and painful for a parent as seeing your child made miserable by a bully. It’s especially hard for dads, who feel helpless because they can’t adequately protect their child from harm. Being bullied can affect almost everything in your child’s life, from his personal confidence to his attitude toward school. And “petty harassment” over a long period can be every bit as scarring as physical abuse.
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Dear Mr. Dad: Grandma spoils our preschool twins to death! Whenever they’re with her, they seem to get free run of the house—with no rules. When we pick them up, they need an attitude adjustment to bring their whining and rudeness under control. How can we get my wife’s mother to supervise them more appropriately?

A: The old saying about grandparents is true—they get to spoil the grandkids, stuff them full of treats, and then send them home to Mom and Dad. Fortunately, the “damage” usually isn’t too heavy and it’s relatively easily corrected. But sometimes the effects last a little longer, especially with kids who are at the age when they disagree with parents over just about anything (which could be toddlers and preschoolers or teenagers—amazing similarities between the two groups).
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Dear Mr. Dad: My seven-year old’s birthday is coming up and he’s been asking for all the latest tech gadgets. Can’t kids these days have fun without electricity? Got any suggestions?

A: I have to confess that I’m something of a gadget-loving techie. But I’m also tired of fancy electronic toys and games that get used once and tossed–and I think kids are too. Feeling nostalgic for “the good old days,” I put out the word that I was looking for low- and no-tech games and activities. I wasn’t expecting many suggestions, but the response was incredible. So here are a number of simple, wholesome, no-batteries-required, and sometimes-free ways you and your kids can have a ton of fun this summer and beyond.
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Dear Mr. Dad: How can I spend quality time with my eleven-year-old daughter outside of going shopping all day? I realize that’s her passion these days, but honestly, I don’t have much to contribute on a shopping spree (except money, of course).

A: Oh, come on, shopping isn’t that bad! Actually, I’m with you on this one. There’s something about setting foot in a department store that makes my back hurt and my head ache. Fortunately, with a little advance planning, it’s possible to survive your tween’s occasional shopping trips while building a solid relationship along the way.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I have a 1-year old who says only two words: mama and dada. My best friend’s son is two months younger and she’s constantly bragging about his vocabulary. It’s driving me crazy—and it’s making me worry that there might be something wrong with my child. When do children start talking? Do they all talk around the same time? Is there any way I can assist my child to talk sooner?

A: As with walking and most other developmental milestones, there’s no fixed time for children to start talking, and what’s “normal” is a big, big range. Some start putting together words as early as nine months; others don’t have much to say until they’re two. The size of the vocabulary and the child’s age when words start tumbling out of his mouth is no indication of intelligence (Albert Einstein supposedly was nearly silent until age four).There’s definitely a luck-of-the-draw component here, but here are a few things that may speed things along. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: I’ve been reading more and more that baby bottles and sippy cups are made from harmful plastics. How do I know which ones are safe?

A: You’ve probably been hearing about bisphenol A (BPA), which has been making headlines lately. Even if you haven’t heard of it’, it’s all over your house—besides baby bottles and sippy cups, it’s in just about anything made of hard, clear plastic, as well as in the lining of food and beverage cans. And if your child’s teeth were sealed by her dentist, there’s a good chance that the coating contains BPA. The problem is that BPA mimics estrogen in the body, and experts suspect that it may cause birth defects, developmental delays, cancer, ADD, early onset puberty, and more. Pretty scary stuff. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: My son’s first grade teacher is recommending that he repeat the year rather than move on to second grade. She says he hasn’t mastered the academics, and that it’s better to hold him back now than later. I really don’t want to put him through that if it isn’t necessary. What should I do?

A: One of the sad results of mixing politics and education is that rules that sound right—especially those that appear to be a good, olde “no-nonsense” approach—are often pursued despite strong evidence that they don’t work, or worse, that they do harm. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: My kindergartener has begun swearing around the house when he’s frustrated or angry. I’m terrified that he’ll do it in front of his grandparents or at school. How can I nip this in the bud before it becomes a real problem?

A: Just as most parents never forget their child’s first step or the first tooth, it’s hard to forget the first time our sweet baby opens those innocent little lips and lets lose with a loud “damn it”—or worse. It can also be hard to put it in perspective, and we tend to immediately imagine a slippery slope leading from profanity directly to the penitentiary.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I remember my own childhood as a time of wonder, but we always seem to be flying in different directions all the time, and the kids don’t get time to just stare into space and be amazed. How can parents in a typical, busy, overscheduled family encourage a sense of wonder in their kids?

A: There’s a reason that old TV show was called The Wonder Years. All sorts of developmental windows are open wide during childhood—for learning languages, for instilling values, for developing musical and verbal abilities, and more—but they don’t stay open forever.

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