Dear Mr. Dad: We just had a baby and are eager to introduce her to my parents. But they live quite far away and are too old to travel. How soon is it safe to fly with an infant?

A: Unfortunately, there is no hard and fast rule. Some experts advise waiting until the baby is at least six weeks old before flying, largely because airplanes are essentially giant, germ-filled tubes. Others say that if the baby is healthy, there’s no need to wait. Ultimately—assuming there are no health issues—you should hold off until you feel comfortable with the whole idea of traveling with an infant.

Personally, I think that four to six months is a great age to introduce babies to flying. They’re generally pretty happy to be held for hours at a time (once they start crawling, all bets are off), they sleep a lot, and don’t need a ton of stuff yet (especially if you’re breastfeeding).

Before booking your flight, have your pediatrician clear your baby for take-off. If she was born prematurely or has any respiratory conditions, she may be grounded for a while because of the low-oxygen environment in the pressurized cabins. Also, if your baby is sick, you’ll probably want to postpone the trip.

Next, check with the airline. Some have policies against newborns flying until they reach a certain age, such as 7 days old. Most airlines allow babies to fly as a “lap child” (meaning they fly free but don’t have a seat and need to stay in your lap) until age two. However, the FAA recommends buying a seat for all infants and bringing your FAA-approved car seat on board so your baby can be strapped in (rather than on your lap) because that is the safest place. (If you hold your baby, put the seat belt around your waist, and hold the baby outside of it).

A warning: Traveling with an infant is infinitely more complex than traveling solo. A delayed flight or sitting on the runway for an extra two hours may have been annoying before, but with a baby, it can be torture. Here are some tips to smooth out some of the potential bumps:

• Pack at least one diaper for every hour of travel, plus a few extras (there’s no such thing as too many diapers).
• If your baby is formula-fed, bring twice as much as you think you’ll need. The TSA’s 3-ounce restriction for liquids doesn’t apply to infant formula or pumped breast milk (as long as you are traveling with your baby) so you should be able to carry-on as much as you’d like. But get there extra early, in case you have to educate the screeners.
• During flight, if your baby is in pain–especially during take-off and landing—it’s probably due to changes in ear pressure. Breastfeeding or sucking on a bottle or pacifier might help.
• The air on planes is dry so feed your baby often to avoid dehydration.
• Bring lots of extra clothes in case of diapers leaking, spit-up, or worse (bring some for the baby too) and a changing pad (airplane lavatories often have a tiny changing table, but it’s often easier to do it at your seat).
• Skip the early boarding. Send one parent ahead to set things up while the other waits until the last possible second to bring the baby on board.
• Find out the airline’s policy about gate checking strollers and car seats. Most won’t charge you, but that could change at any moment.

Dear Mr. Dad: I have two grandchildren, ages 4 and 6. I love them dearly but really don’t enjoy babysitting. They run around, climb on the furniture, break things, and generally wreak havoc in my house. It takes me a good hour to child-proof the house before my daughter drops them off and then another hour to put everything back. I’m exhausted! How can I be a good grandma and enjoy time with the kids?

A: Let’s start by defining “good grandma.” I’d say that taking two little terrors into your house and keeping them entertained for hours on end without getting paid for it—more than once—is a good start.

Another important ingredient is the desire to be a regular part of their lives. The foundation you’re laying now will hopefully blossom into a close, nurturing relationship as your grandchildren get older. The trick is to find a way to turn those frustrating and infuriating visits into something more fun—for you and for them. They can definitely feel how tense you are when they’re around and they probably aren’t much happier to be at your house than you are to have them there.

One solution is to do your babysitting at your daughter’s house instead of yours. That way, you’ll save a few hours on the childproofing, and any property damage will be covered by your daughter’s homeowner’s policy, not yours. The downside is that children usually like spending time at their grandparents’ house. The rules there are often more lenient than in their own home, and they get to do things they wouldn't do with mom and dad around. There’s something about sharing that feeling that helps strengthen the grandparent-grandchild bond.

You’ll need to establish some simple ground rules. Your grandkids are old enough to understand the difference between appropriate and inappropriate behavior. For example, at grandma’s house, there’s no jumping on furniture or touching things without asking first. Explain to them that you have to repair anything they break or damage, and that’ll cost you time and money. Remember, though, that kids sometimes break things accidentally, so keep anything valuable well out of reach. You can’t reasonably forbid them from touching everything in your house—that’s just not realistic.

As a workaround, do you have a room in your house that you could designate as a play space where the kids won’t have to worry about breaking or destroying anything? It doesn’t have to be fancy: a few pieces of child-friendly furniture, a table, some chairs, and a good assortment of age-appropriate toys, coloring books, arts and crafts supplies, blocks, and so on. If money’s an issue, you can probably get most of these items used at garage sales or on Craigslist.

Before each visit, think about what you’ll do while they’re there. Build in a good mix of indoor and outdoor, active and quiet, group and solo activities. Give them some choices, but don’t forget to include activities you enjoy. For example, my mom loves to draw and paint and she makes doing art a regular part of many of her visits with her grandchildren. My 7-year old’s maternal grandparents are avid bird watchers and they’ve taken her on many backyard outings. Do this now. It’ll be a lot harder to convince a tween or a teen to go to a museum with you if they’ve never done it before. But if it’s been a regular part of their routine, you may actually be able to get them to stop texting for a few minutes and enjoy the artwork.

Dear Mr. Dad: This may sound paranoid, but all of a sudden I’m getting worried about electricity. My wife, three kids—ages 9-16—and I have smartphones. We’ve also got laptops, a wireless router, wireless phones, Bluetooth headsets, remotes, printers, satellite TV, Wii, Kindles, and about 25 other electronic gadgets spread out all over the house. I’m can’t believe that we aren’t being damaged in some way. Am I crazy?

A: Okay, have you been hacking my email? I’ve been spending a lot of time thinking about the same thing—and I have a feeling there are a lot more like us out there. In fact, just a few weeks ago, I received two books in the mail—both painting a very ugly picture of electronic pollution. I’ve barely been able to sleep since.
In “Disconnect,” scientist Devra Davis focuses on cell phone radiation and what she believes (and shows pretty convincingly) the industry has done bury the bad news. Health writer Ann Louise Gittleman, author of “Zapped,” also tackles cell phones, but she goes even further, pointing out that potentially dangerous electromagnetic fields (EMFs) are and lurking in places we’d never suspect: wall outlets, electric blankets, dimmer switches, hair dryers, iPod docking stations, refrigerators, electric razors, digital cameras, and even those electronic collars dogs wear that let them through their doggy doors.
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Super Mario Brothers for Wii, “Checklists for the New Dad,” and Faces iMake, among Father’s Day 2010 GreatDad Recommends Award and Mr. Dad Seal of Approval Recipients

San Francisco, Calif. (PRWEB) June 5, 2010 — Fun-loving fathers and families seeking ideas for Father’s Day activities this year are in for a real treat. Presented by Mr. Dad and GreatDad.com, the results of the Fathers Day 2010 GreatDad Recommends and Mr.Dad Seal of Approval awards are in. They include an exciting lineup of games, toys and resources that will involve dads and kids, and make spending time together even more exciting and memorable. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: My parents are divorced and my dad has been living in another state. He is now moving back home because he says he wants to develop a relationship with his grandchild (my son), who is four. Unfortunately, my father has anger management issues–he’s never been violent, but he does have verbal outbursts. He can be fine, but then something sets him off and he starts being verbally abusive. He says he can control himself now, but my husband and I are afraid to leave our son with him. On the other hand, I want my child to get to know his grandfather. What can we do?

A: You’re absolutely right to be concerned about entrusting your child to someone who has a history of abusive behavior—violent or otherwise—regardless of whether he’s a relative or not.

Your dad says he can control his outbursts. But how do you know? Has he been in anger management or been getting some other type of therapy, counseling, or professional help? I’m not saying people can’t change—of course they can. But it’s pretty unlikely that a lifelong habit would suddenly disappear all by itself. It’s certainly possible that your father has learned to keep his anger under wraps, but there’s no guarantee that it’ll stay that way. As you say, he can be fine one moment, then something (or someone) will spark his anger. You certainly don’t want that someone to be your four-year-old.
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Dear Mr. Dad: My daughter and son-in-law are raising their 4-year-old child with no discipline or boundaries. The boy is a little brat, screaming and throwing temper tantrums whenever he doesn’t get what he wants. I’ve tried speaking to my daughter about this but she just laughs it off. What should I do?

A: Oh, boy, that’s a tough one. I totally agree that raising a child without any boundaries, or, for that matter, discipline, is just plain bad parenting. Your daughter and son-in-law aren’t doing your grandson any favors by giving in to all his whims. Sooner or later, their lenient, anything-goes approach will backfire. (He’s already an unmanageable little tyrant. Imagine how much worse it’ll be as he gets older).

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