Dear Mr. Dad: My seven-year old’s birthday is coming up and he’s been asking for all the latest tech gadgets. Can’t kids these days have fun without electricity? Got any suggestions?

A: I have to confess that I’m something of a gadget-loving techie. But I’m also tired of fancy electronic toys and games that get used once and tossed–and I think kids are too. Feeling nostalgic for “the good old days,” I put out the word that I was looking for low- and no-tech games and activities. I wasn’t expecting many suggestions, but the response was incredible. So here are a number of simple, wholesome, no-batteries-required, and sometimes-free ways you and your kids can have a ton of fun this summer and beyond.
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Dear Mr. Dad: How can I spend quality time with my eleven-year-old daughter outside of going shopping all day? I realize that’s her passion these days, but honestly, I don’t have much to contribute on a shopping spree (except money, of course).

A: Oh, come on, shopping isn’t that bad! Actually, I’m with you on this one. There’s something about setting foot in a department store that makes my back hurt and my head ache. Fortunately, with a little advance planning, it’s possible to survive your tween’s occasional shopping trips while building a solid relationship along the way.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I have been trying for years to have a child of our own. We’re now considering adoption. But there’s so much to think about: Should we take in a foster child first, just to see how things go? Can we trust the State adoption agency? Will we be able to afford all the associated expenses? What if we discover months or years later, that there’s something seriously wrong with the child?

A: What great questions. Adoption certainly isn’t for everyone, and the decision to adopt isn’t one to take lightly. The risks are real: you hear nightmarish, heartbreaking stories everywhere. Many prospective adoptive parents go through the training that’s required by certain adoption agencies and drop out, realizing that it might not be for them. But there are plenty of successes out there too.
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Dear Mr. Dad: My wife and I are about to get a divorce. We have a one-year old boy and she’s pregnant with our second. Here’s the problem: She’s been having an affair for the past two years and I’m concerned that the children aren’t actually mine. What can I do to protect myself?

A: I’m sorry about your situation. Divorce is never easy, and it’s even tougher when you’ve been cheated on and children are involved.

Hire a lawyer immediately. Then get DNA tests for you and the children. Expect to pay upwards of $400 for the testing, but given the horror stories I’ve heard from men in your situation, it’s a worthwhile expense.

Your goal is to avoid becoming a victim of “Paternity Fraud.” This is when a mother lies about who a child’s father is for the purposes of monetary gain. In your case, you could be on the hook for 18 or more years of child support for a child or children who aren’t yours.
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Dear Mr. Dad: Our first child is due in six months and we’ve decided I won’t be going back to work. How do we go from dual income couple to single income family without feeling the pinch too much?

A: Congratulations on thinking about this now—I’m always surprised at how many couples put off talking about money until they’re on the way home from the hospital, baby in hand.

The very first item on your list should be to pay off your credit cards. (If you don’t have any credit card debt, you’re already one step ahead). Next, start sinking your entire paycheck into savings and practice living off one salary. This will help you quickly identify any holes in your budget while you still have the security of two paychecks. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: I have a 1-year old who says only two words: mama and dada. My best friend’s son is two months younger and she’s constantly bragging about his vocabulary. It’s driving me crazy—and it’s making me worry that there might be something wrong with my child. When do children start talking? Do they all talk around the same time? Is there any way I can assist my child to talk sooner?

A: As with walking and most other developmental milestones, there’s no fixed time for children to start talking, and what’s “normal” is a big, big range. Some start putting together words as early as nine months; others don’t have much to say until they’re two. The size of the vocabulary and the child’s age when words start tumbling out of his mouth is no indication of intelligence (Albert Einstein supposedly was nearly silent until age four).There’s definitely a luck-of-the-draw component here, but here are a few things that may speed things along. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: I’ve been reading more and more that baby bottles and sippy cups are made from harmful plastics. How do I know which ones are safe?

A: You’ve probably been hearing about bisphenol A (BPA), which has been making headlines lately. Even if you haven’t heard of it’, it’s all over your house—besides baby bottles and sippy cups, it’s in just about anything made of hard, clear plastic, as well as in the lining of food and beverage cans. And if your child’s teeth were sealed by her dentist, there’s a good chance that the coating contains BPA. The problem is that BPA mimics estrogen in the body, and experts suspect that it may cause birth defects, developmental delays, cancer, ADD, early onset puberty, and more. Pretty scary stuff. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: My son’s first grade teacher is recommending that he repeat the year rather than move on to second grade. She says he hasn’t mastered the academics, and that it’s better to hold him back now than later. I really don’t want to put him through that if it isn’t necessary. What should I do?

A: One of the sad results of mixing politics and education is that rules that sound right—especially those that appear to be a good, olde “no-nonsense” approach—are often pursued despite strong evidence that they don’t work, or worse, that they do harm. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Mr. Dad: My wife has recently begun to worry that our kids spend too much time in front of the TV, computer, and video games. While I agree that it’s too much, I remember watching loads of television as a kid, and I turned out okay. Is all the hype about “screen time” really something to be concerned about?

A: This topic reminds me of the pickle so many baby boomer parents are in when talking about premarital sex or smoking marijuana—how can I tell my kids not to do the things I did when I was their age? My parents weren’t big TV watchers, but I could hardly wait for them to go out for the evening so I could settle into a comfortable evening of Batman, Superman, The Three Stooges, and a lot more. So why worry about our kids doing the same? Well, there are two issues here: content and time.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My two month old wants to be held all day long. Everyone I know is telling me that she’ll grow up spoiled if I don’t put her down. Am I spoiling her?

A: Not a chance! Here’s the only math formula that new parents need to know: wants = needs. It’s absolutely impossible to spoil a baby that young. The concept of manipulating you with his tears is months away. Here’s what’s probably going on inside your baby’s head. For nine months he was living in a cozy, warm environment and was used to being constantly held. Now that he’s out in the real world, he craves the security of his old womb. But as he gets older, he’ll gradually need that security less and less.

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