Dear Readers: A few weeks ago I devoted a column to the issue of electromagnetic fields (EMFs) generated by cell phones and other electronic devices that many people worry are causing an increase in a variety of cancers as well as a host of other health risks. That column generated a huge response from readers. Some of you were thrilled to see your fears validated in print. Many others, though, took issue with the claims of the two book authors I’d quoted. Being a big believer in intellectual honesty, I decided to dig a little deeper into the “other side” of the story. Here’s what I found:
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Dear Mr. Dad: I need a man's advice but am too embarrassed to ask my own father, family, or male friends. I've been married about two years now and have a 9-month old baby. The problem is that my sexual relationship with my husband is basically non-existent. I feel sad and lonely and I have mentioned this to my husband before. I was in shock when he told me that he didn't want to get me pregnant and that he thinks I'm a bit*h! Whoa! Where did that come from?! I don't think that he is cheating because he comes home right after work. If I call him during the day, he's always around, and on the weekend he's home with me. I have not gained weight and stay in good physical shape. I don't understand what's wrong. What gives?

A: Thanks very much for your note. It must have been incredibly hard to write.

Of course, not knowing your husband, I can't say for sure what's bothering him. But there are a few possibilities that come up fairly often with relatively new dads. First of all, your husband may be having trouble seeing you as a mother. I know that may sound irrational, but your being a mother might be making him think of his own mother—and, as we all know, it’s hard for most adults to imagine our parents—moms or dads—actually having sex. (Of course we know they did, but we just don’t want to think about it.)
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Dear Mr. Dad: I'm getting a little worried that we’re putting too much pressure on my son to get involved in extracurricular activities. He plays soccer, is active in his Boy Scout troop, and does karate. Now there's talk about art classes during the week, too. I know that extracurricular activities are good, but how much is too much?

A: Yep, you’re right: extracurricular activities are great for your son. They show him that there is life outside of academics, and they can teach some very valuable life lessons. Boy Scouts and soccer can help your son learn to interact better with others and what teamwork is all about. Karate is great, too. In the right dojo, he’ll learn about respect and the importance of hard work and patience (martial arts should be a meritocracy). Karate is also be great for conditioning and can even boost self-esteem.
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Dear Mr. Dad: When our daughter was younger, Christmas was her favorite holiday and she looked forward to it all year. Now that she’s 13, she refuses to celebrate it. Christmas is always a big deal in our house. How do we convince our daughter to participate and enjoy this special holiday?

A: Generally speaking, young children love the Christmas holidays because of what they see as the magical and enchanting atmosphere–beautifully decorated houses, Christmas trees, sleigh bells ringing, Santa Claus coming to town, and opening gifts on Christmas morning (not necessarily in that order). Even in my house—and many others—where we celebrate Hanukah, I love to pack the kids into the car and drive around town oohing and aahing over the amazingly elaborate light displays. And yes, some of that gift-opening magic has rubbed off on us too.
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Dear Mr. Dad: Our 27-year-old son lost his job and moved back in with my wife and me. While it’s nice to have him around, it’s been six months now and he shows no sign of moving out. Part of the problem is that my wife and I have very different approaches. I want our son to get his life back on track. But the other day I discovered that my wife has been giving him money every month. She’s even been paying some of his credit card bills for him. This has led to a lot of tension around the house—between me and my wife, and between me and my son. What can we do?

A: Boy are you in a tough spot. Actually, you’re in two tough spots at the same time. On one hand, you’ve got an adult child who is waaaaay too old to be living someplace where he isn’t making a rent or mortgage payment every month. On the other hand, you’ve got a wife who’s actually encouraging your son to keep doing exactly what he’s been doing: freeload. Fortunately, there is a solution. Unfortunately, it’s not going to be easy.
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