Dear Mr. Dad: I have a 2-week old baby boy, and I’m crazy about him. But I’ve suddenly started feeling really anxious, stressed, irritable, and sometimes even angry. My girlfriend says I could be suffering from male postpartum depression. I’ve never heard of guys getting postpartum depression, is it possible? If so, what can I do about it?

A: Your girlfriend is absolutely right. Most of us have heard of new moms experiencing the “baby blues,” or actual postpartum depression, but few acknowledge that paternal postpartum depression is just as real. In fact, quite a few people ridicule the idea. It’s wonderful that your girlfriend is not one of them.

According to Will Courtenay, a psychotherapist specializing in male postpartum depression, as many as 1 in 4 new dads experience the kinds of symptoms you mentioned, in the days, weeks, and even months after the birth of a child. Unfortunately, men rarely discuss their feelings or ask for help, especially during a time when they’re supposed to “be there” for the new mom. One big problem is that men and women express depression differently. Women tend to get tearful, men get angry or withdraw from their family and retreat to the office. Because depression—including the postpartum kind—is usually seen as affecting women more than men, many mental health professionals don’t recognize the symptoms, or write them off as normal adjustment to the challenges of new parenthood.
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Dear Mr. Dad: My mom is 46 and has been divorced from our dad for two years. Recently she met Doug, who’s 33. He seems nice enough and mom says she’s happy, but my sister and I (both in our early 20s) think she’s making a big mistake dating a man only a few years older than her daughters. Can an age-gap relationship like that really work out?

A: I wish it weren’t the case, but the simple answer is that there’s no guarantee any relationship—age-appropriate or not—will work out in the long run. As you and your sister know first-hand, the divorce rate in this country is very high, and couples have all sorts of reasons (some better than others) for splitting up. If your mom and her young boyfriend do break up, the age difference may not have anything to do with it at all.
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Dear Mr. Dad: My wife thinks we should be brushing our 2-year old’s teeth every night. But the nights I put our daughter to bed, she refuses to let me brush her teeth. Is it really necessary at this age? Isn’t she going to lose these teeth in a few years anyway?

A: The quick answer is Yes and Yes. Yes, your daughter will lose her primary teeth (also called “baby teeth”)—the first ones when she’s around six, the last ones by the time she’s 13. And yes, even though they’re in her mouth temporarily, it’s important to take care of them while they’re there. First of all, they’ll help her adult teeth come in straight. Second, she needs those teeth as she learns to speak. And third, they’ll help her chew her food properly. Baby teeth are just as susceptible to cavities as their adult mouthmates. And most dentists will tell you that tooth decay is an infection, one that can harm your child’s overall health. Oh, and if you think getting her to brush her teeth is hard now, imagine how hard it’ll be if she needs fillings.
Dr. Oana Romasan, a Florida-based pediatric dentist (smileykidz.com), recommends that parents brush their children’s teeth as soon as they appear. Using a soft-bristle brush and only a pea-sized amount of toothpaste, brush each tooth in a gentle circular motion. Be sure to get the inside, outside, and chewing surface of every tooth, and finish up by brushing her tongue (to remove build-up of plaque- and bad-breath-causing bacteria).
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Dear Mr. Dad: My 18-month old son is suddenly obsessed with TV. He watches at least 3-4 hours per day. My wife doesn’t see the problem since it allows her to get stuff done around the house, but I’m worried. How much TV is too much?

A: Great question—one you have every right to be concerned about. Watching too much TV is a growing problem in our society—especially for children. Studies are all over the place, but they generally show that American children watch two to six hours of television per day. Plus they spend a few more in front of other screens, watching DVDs or playing video games.
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