Jul 21 2009

Arguing in Front of the Kids? Not as Bad as It Sounds

Dear Mr. Dad: Like a lot of couples these days, my wife and I are going through some tough times. We argue about everything–but especially money. How can we work through these issues without stressing out the kids?

A: As the economy continues to stagnate and families find themselves having to adjust to a very different life than the one they'd planned, this is a question I get more and more often. The truth is that all couples go through some tough times at various points. And, as much as we'd like to pretend our adult troubles aren't affecting our kids, we're dead wrong. Kids have a much better idea of what's going on than we give them credit for, and they definitely feel the stress and uncertainty that come with knowing that their parents are less than completely happy with each other.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Preschool and schoolage kids, Teens, Toddlers

Jul 14 2009

Whose Kids are These Anyway? Or How to Discipline Your Stepchildren

Dear Mr. Dad: This is my second marriage, and I’m totally committed to my new wife. But even thought I hate to admit it, her two kids from her previous marriage are driving me crazy. They play one of us against the other, and my wife—being their mom—usually takes their side in any disagreement. How can we keep our marriage stable and still come to some agreement on disciplining the kids?

A: For some couples, second marriages are a breeze. But most experience all sorts of problems in merging two different households with different traditions and ways of life. When kids are involved, the potential problems multiply exponentially. In fact, it may be even harder on kids than on the adults. At least adults have some control over the situation. Kids have almost none.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Divorce, custody, single parenting, Preschool and schoolage kids, Teens

Jul 07 2009

Regaining Your Parental Authority

Dear Mr. Dad: Our 12-year-old daughter does well in school but apparently hates us as parents. She never speaks kindly to us, refuses any kind of parental authority, and insists that "no one can tell me what to do." She is very interested in boys and has been involved in "kissing sessions" on a school outing. We’re just about at the end of our rope. Is there anything we can do?

A: I can certainly see why this situation is upsetting you, and you’re absolutely right to be concerned. Teenagers are notoriously defiant of parental authority, but at twelve, your daughter is still a “tween,” far too young to be engaging in the kind of behavior you describe.
There are a few steps you should take right away, before her behavior becomes even more inappropriate, or starts posing a danger to her health and safety. First on the list is to ask the principal of her school why “kissing sessions” were allowed during a school outing. Where was the supervision? As far as I’m concerned, this is absolutely inexcusable and everyone involved should be held accountable.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Preschool and schoolage kids, Teens

Jul 02 2009

It's All in a Name

Dear Mr. Dad: I've always wondered why parents of large families sometimes give all their children names beginning with the first letter, as in, "Hi, I'd like you to meet my kids: Connie, Carla, Christopher, Caligula, Charles, and Conner." How long has this trend been around?

A: Having all the kids' names start with the same letter or sound may make them feel connected–to their siblings and the family as a whole–particularly if a child is adopted. It might also be a memory aid for those time (and all parents have them) when they call their children by the wrong name or the dog's name or can't remember the right name at all.

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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Infants and babies, Pregnancy and childbirth