Mar
31
2009
Dear Mr. Dad: My 13-year-old son has difficulty making friends. He’s a little shy, but a nice kid. He says he’s as tried to talk to different boys at school, but claims no one likes him. How can I help?
A: As parents, we all want our children to be popular and well-liked by their peers, but things don’t always work out that way. Kids–just like adults–have their own personalities, and it sounds like your son may simply be less outgoing and gregarious than his schoolmates.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Preschool and schoolage kids, Teens
Mar
25
2009
Dear Mr. Dad: My wife is 11 weeks pregnant and driving me nuts. She's worried constantly about our financial situation, her time off work, child care, you name it. She's mad at me one minute, sad the next, and happy the one after that. Frankly, I’m not really buying the whole “emotional roller coaster” thing. Is she using her pregnancy as an excuse to act this way?
A: Well, there’s good news and bad news. The bad is that the pregnancy roller coaster does exist and your wife’s hormones really are responsible for most of her erratic behavior. The good news is that the ride typically ends early in the second trimester, which you’re just about to start. Until then, try to be as understanding as can be—she’s probably not any happier with her behavior than you are and is finding the whole thing confusing and frightening.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Pregnancy and childbirth
Mar
24
2009
Dear Mr. Dad: I am currently dating a divorced father of two. I am having trouble communicating to him that being a good father does not exempt him from being a good partner. How can I get him to see my point of view without putting him on the defensive?
A: In a perfect world, you're right–being a good father wouldn’t exempt your boyfriend from being a good partner. But I have to tell you that most single dads would make the same choice. Their priority is their children—giving them stability and protecting them from going through another breakup. When dating a divorced dad you have to understand that his kids are part of the package. You can’t have one without the other. And if you ever put him in a situation where he feels he has to choose between the kids and you, he'll go with them every time.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Divorce, custody, single parenting, Preschool and schoolage kids, Toddlers
Mar
17
2009
Dear Mr. Dad: I’m traveling alone with my 3-month old daughter and my 4-year old son over Spring break. It’ll be a long flight and I’m already dreading it. How can I make it easier on myself, my kids, and the people around is?
A: Air travel is already plenty stressful. Throw in two young kids and your hair will turn grey just thinking about it. For many traveling parents, the problems start when they try to get everyone through security. You can reduce some of the stress by putting everyone in slip-on shoes (you’ll all have to take them off—even the baby), and having the baby in some kind of wearable carrier (as long as it doesn’t have any metal parts you should be able to leave it on).
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Infants and babies, Toddlers
Mar
11
2009
Dear Mr. Dad: My six-year-old son has suddenly begun cheating at games, at school, in sports—pretty much every chance he gets. This has come out of the blue. I can't help feeling it's a moral issue. How can I nip it in the bud?
A: If you hadn't told me your son's age, I'd have guessed it within a year or so. The good news is that he's right on schedule for the little social experiment he’s conducting.
A very powerful thing happens in child development right around age six. Developmental psychologists call it Theory of Mind—the point when kids begin to truly grasp that other people experience the world from their own unique perspective, and that they don’t always know what’s going on in other people’s heads. Before that, kids have a kind of "universal mind" idea, believing that everyone sees and experiences things in the same way and shares the same knowledge.
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Preschool and schoolage kids
Mar
03
2009
Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I are in our late thirties. We have a 4-year old daughter and would love to have a second child. But with the financial crisis, we're having trouble keeping our heads above water and feel that we’re in no position to bring another child into the world. We are both heartbroken about it because we come from large families, and we certainly didn't want our daughter to be an only child. How do we make sure she turns out ok?
A: Since plenty of couples have kids well into their forties, being in your late thirties shouldn’t be a deciding factor. However, the tough economy is forcing all of us to reorder our priorities and reconsider a lot of big decisions. And having a second child certainly qualifies. If you’re struggling to pay your bills now, imagine how much more difficult it would be to provide for an additional member of your family. (If only that mother with the octuplets would have been thinking as clearly as you are.)
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posted in All Ask Mr. Dad, Infants and babies, Pregnancy and childbirth