Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I separated almost a year ago, and we’ve remained on friendly terms. We have two young children together, and we’ve tried to make things as easy as possible for them. With that said, I’m wondering if I should give my ex a Christmas gift this year, as a nice gesture. The only catch is that we’re both dating other people, so I don’t want to cause problems or have my intentions misinterpreted.

A: Wow, if every divorced couple could behave like you and your ex, the world would be a far better place. No divorce is easy, and it’s best for everyone involved when both parties can focus on what’s good for the kids instead of on hurting each other. I applaud you (and your ex) for taking the high road.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I know that spanking is politically incorrect these days, but I don’t want kids who are out of control. Is on occasional whack all that bad? If so, what are the alternatives?

A: At one time or another, every parent has been in a situation where the temptation to spank was strong. But the jury is in—and yes, it’s all bad. Spanking, also known as corporal punishment, is worth avoiding for two reasons. First, it doesn’t work beyond the short-term, and second, it creates a lot of new problems in the long-term.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My company recently offered me the option of telecommuting. Theoretically, I could do 75 percent of my job from home and I’d have to be in the office for our weekly departmental meeting and some client meetings. I’m a new mom and the idea of working from home sounds attractive. What are the plusses and minuses?

A: At first glance it looks like a no-brainer: work at your own pace, save a bundle on commuting and dry cleaning, wear your pajamas all day, and have plenty of time with the kids. What’s not to like? Well, the reality is a bit more complicated.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My son is very athletic and he’d love nothing more than to play sports all day long. The problem is that it feels like we’re on the go every minute from the time school lets out until bedtime. I know how much he enjoys being part of the teams, but I’m wondering if he’s going to end up getting burned out. How much is too much when it comes to after-school activities?

A: Welcome to one of today’s most common dilemmas: How to strike a balance between giving our kids the opportunity to try new things, and the reality of running everyone ragged in the process. You mentioned sports, but for a lot of families, that’s just the beginning—factor in things like Boy/Girl Scouts, piano lessons, chess club, cheerleading, and volunteer projects and it all adds up to a lot of time in the car, with the kids noshing on fast food in the backseat, on a seemingly endless road from one activity to another.

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