Dear Mr. Dad: I just started a new sales job which keeps me away from home a lot. How can I help my family, especially the children, cope better so that they don’t resent my being away?

A: In the debate between quality time and quantity time, there’s no clear winner. In an ideal world, everyone would get plenty of both. But most of us don’t live in an ideal world, which means we have to make the best of whatever situation we’re in.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I just found out I’m pregnant and my husband is not looking forward to being a dad. The pregnancy was unplanned and he doesn’t see any positive sides to the situation. How do I get him to be more involved in the pregnancy and beyond?

A: For some odd reason, people assume that as soon as the news of the pregnancy is announced, we instantly and happily snap into “mommy” and “daddy” mode. But it’s rarely that simple in real life. Changing from couple to parents isn’t an easy or natural transition for everyone. Some of us morph into perfect parents overnight, while for others, getting comfortable with being a parent takes a long, long time.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I am newly pregnant, and even though our baby isn’t due for a few more months, my husband and I are already having a major disagreement. I want to breastfeed for at least 4 or 5 months and my husband is scared of breast milk. I have tried to tell him it is very natural and healthy but he insists that it is “gross” and doesn’t want me to do it. What can I do?

A. First, congratulations on your decision to breastfeed! It’s one of the most important choices you can make for the health of your newborn. And the science is there to back you up.

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Dear Mr. Dad, We have a 6-month old baby and my wife already wants to start trying for another one. Is that really a good idea?

A: As you might have guessed, there’s no right answer. Many people say that having two children close together makes life easier, while others say it makes an already-stressful situation even more stressful. Of course, that’s all in the eye (or nursery) of the beholder.

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Dear Mr. Dad: I’m a new dad with a beautiful, two-month-old baby girl. My wife and I are going through a rough patch right now. I think she is suffering from depression. She says she feels inadequate caring for our baby. What can I do to help?

A: First of all, I want to commend you for being concerned enough to write. You’d be amazed at how many new dads either don’t notice or don’t worry about their wife’s changing moods. Your having recognized the problem is the first step toward helping her get better.

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