Dear Mr. Dad: I've heard varying expert opinions about children under age two watching television and have become confused as to what is best for my child. I usually have my 15 month old daughter watch TV while I shower and get a few things done around the house, or sometimes we watch baby programming together. What are your thoughts?

A: According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), children over two should limit television watching to no more than 1-2 hours of quality television per day. Kids under two shouldn’t watch TV at all. And there’s good reason. Research shows that children who watch a lot of television tend to have more traditional (and stereotyped) views of gender and race. They’re also much more likely to be overweight. Because very young children can’t tell the difference between realty and what’s happening on screen, they can find images of violence or adult situations—even in cartoons—confusing or frightening.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My husband and I always had a close relationship with our two grandkids, now 9 and 12. However, our son recently went through an acrimonious divorce and now our former daughter-in-law is denying us access to the children. We are heartbroken. Is there anything we can do?

A: Your case is a perfect example of how the effects of divorce are felt well outside the immediate nuclear family. In a perfect world your right to see your grandchildren wouldn’t be an issue at all. Unfortunately, this isn’t a perfect world, and when a divorce gets ugly, forcing the grandparents out of the picture becomes just another way for warring spouses to hurt each other. What they don’t realize (or refuse to acknowledge) is that they’re hurting their children in the process.

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Dear Mr. Dad: Our kids, ages 12 and 14, refuse to write “thank you” notes for gifts they receive. They say “thank-you” letters are old-fashioned and nobody does it anymore. Is it still important to teach kids good manners, and, if so, how do we go about it?

A: Remember the good old days when “please” and “thank you” were the magic words? Well, even though your kids may believe that good manners are as extinct as the woolly mammoth, some of that magic sill remains. In this day and age of informal culture and fast and furious communications – email, Instant Messenger, text messaging – taking the time for a hand-written and heartfelt message of appreciation may seem like, well, a thankless task.

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Dear Mr. Dad: My husband loves to watch Big Cats Diary (about cheetahs, lions and leopards in Africa) and similar clips on YouTube. He often shows our three-year old daughter TV and videos that contain chase and kill scenes. The other day they watched a 9-minute video of a killing scene involving a buffalo calf, a couple of lions, and a crocodile. I feel our child is too young for such cruel nature shows but her father thinks it’s o.k. I want to instill empathy into our daughter, and I feel my husband’s attitude—“nature is cruel, that’s life”—is a lesson I want her to learn, but later. What’s your advice?

A. I understand and agree with your concern about whether Big Cats Diary-type of program is appropriate for your young child. You’re not alone. A lot of parents have trouble creating firm boundaries on subjects like violence, sex-education, drugs, crime, and the like.

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